Being a Christian

This weekend I had the blessing of going to Hume Lake with some of the most diverse girls on the planet. My previous Hume experience consisted of ruffing the wild in tents with my brother by my side and dirt on my face. This experience was a different story. They spoiled us, mostly with candy and meals, but also with Jesus. Ya, I got Jesus spoiled.

You know that feeling when your "Christian walk" is going so great and you feel you can conquor the world? That's a Jesus high.
You know that feeling when God is so distant that you don't know if He even exists?
That's a "Crisis of Faith."

Last week I experienced a crisis of faith. The Kenya I've been
planning on moving to for a year, the one where my little boys are, the one that my heart is in is going through a slight time of war. The Somolian/Kenya relationship isn't exactly what you'd call great...in fact it's pretty bad. Bombings and travel warnings, guns, planes and kidnappings, they really don't phase me. I know where My safety comes from.

What scares me most is the fact that something I adore so profoundly, could be taken right out from under me. We can all relate to loss of a loved one, and this is what I felt. But that's what God does, doesn't He? He makes us love something, and then says, "do you really love this or do you really love Me?"

We're only Human. As much as we were made to be joyful we were made to hurt. If that's where you are right now, then trust me, you're not alone.

Here's what I've learned so far:
1. When you feel like your world is falling apart...fall on your knees and sing praises to the very one who created you. You will be reminded of your utter weakness.
2. Go to the people that will not only feel for you, but will pray for and with you and always always build you up.
3. Giving is the best medicine.
4. If you always do what you've always done you will always get what you've always got.

We leave in 36 more days.
I don't know if God will put a damper on the dream we've personalized and keep us here.
I know He is.
Instead of praying for clarity, I'm going to pray for trust. I want to think long term God, not long term me.

Love,
K

Ps. Chrissy Gage our youth leader-- who means so much to me.